Green with Children
What Rhymes With Obnoxious? Gas Hole.
Tonight Jeff, the boys and I went out to a fundraiser for Dex's future public school. When we parked the car at home I was alarmed to see that someone had put a bumper sticker on my car while we were inside the event.
My surprise escalated to alarm when I processed what it said. It was styled in a black and white oval, just like those cryptic stickers that say things like MV or OBX to signify in secret prep language where you and your J.Crew-wearing family like to vacation. But this didn't name some desirable beach spot. This said Gas Hole on it.
As it slowly washed over me that this bumper sticker was in fact mockery, alarm segued to rage that they had stuck it on my car. OK, it turns out the sticker is actually a magnet, but still.
Yes, I drive a Toyota Highlander. Mock away, green America. But like Billy Joel says, glass houses…. Before you waggle your gas hole magnet at me, first know that I drive it about ten miles a week, so I think it evens out to be about as much of a gas guzzler as a hybrid. Also, we are a one-car family; my husband commutes by train so we sold our second car a few years ago.
This Robin Hood of snarky eco-graffiti wouldn't know those things. Or that the back of my albeit too-big car is loaded with canvas bags, and reusable water bottles are stashed in the drink holders, and the front seat is a mess of library books and hand-me-down coats, and we drive the car home to a house lit almost entirely by compact fluorescent bulbs even though they don't dim, and we recycle so much I've lost many square feet in my kitchen.
Nope, Mr. I'm-So-Clever-Gas-Hole-Magnet-Boy wouldn't know any of that. When he got off his bike to stick it on the back of my car, he just figured I was a big fat disgusting polluter. I mean, we must presume someone so self-righteous as to insult a perfect stranger for their transportation choice had to be riding a bike, right? Or walking? Or maybe he or she took the bus to prowl the neighborhood looking for people in fuel-inefficient cars?
When I told a friend this story, she speculated that whoever stuck it on my car probably had it stuck to their own car. In some warped version of "pay it forward" the guy in the Escalade just passes on the Gas Hole sticker to the chump parked next to him in a Toyota.
The other big thing this magnet-vandal didn't know was that I am Mommy Greenest. So on the one hand, whoever this person is totally annoyed me, but I also at least support his spirit. I wish my car was a hybrid, but I can't afford to get rid of this one. I think the major auto companies have done the world a terrible crime by not pursuing electric or alternative options for cars. I don't disagree with his passion, I just wish he'd channel it somewhere more productive. Does he really think that bumper magnet is going to shame anyone into trading in their SUV for a hybrid?
Since I'm Mommy Greenest, I'll keep that Gas Hole magnet on the back of my car just to get people thinking. Let's just hope my children never understand the pun.
For another blog about why hybrids may not be the only solution to going green, see The Ecopolitan's "Green Cars Are Not Enough."
© The Green Guide, 2008
Discuss this blog
posted by equayona on 2008-04-17 12:50:12
At least it was a magnet. I can see where you would be indignant but it is pretty funny. Good for you for leaving it on!
posted by MG's Greener Brother on 2008-04-17 22:16:44
You have to admit, your fine points notwithstanding, that you are an enormous gashole.
But unless you're riding a bike everywhere, you could slap one of those magnets on anybody's car. Getting 50 mpg doesn't make your car green, just a little greener.
posted by greenmomtobe on 2008-04-18 11:54:24
well, not everyone can drive a hybrid since they have only just started thinking about making SUV's hybrids. Some of us need space. So, isn't driver greener better than nothing? not everyone can be completely green, but if everyone tried to be green where they could, it would still make a difference!Instead, most people say, "green cleanser, what a great idea" and then never switch. or they see the neergy efficient light bulbs, but like dimming lights better, so they say "next time" and "next time" never comes. is it not better to at least actually be green where you can be?
posted by nanor on 2008-04-23 14:48:19
Well, until they make an affordable electric car, I too will drive a gas hole. There's no point in buying ethanol as it is more expensive, and as we know, converts food to fuel that continues to pollute in addition to creating a more unaffordable food supply for us as well as poorer nations. People tout Brazil for their "great" subsidized ethanol program, but it's still ethanol.
posted by aj on 2008-05-03 22:24:59
I can't lie... I thought this was really funny. If it hadn't been a magnet, maybe I wouldn't have found it so funny.
No, they didn't know you're Mommy Greenest, but isn't that the beauty of it? It got even you thinking, or at least blogging.
As long as it's not damaging or destructive, I'd say this is a fabulous way to make a statement and get people thinking and evaluating.
posted by sensintaffar on 2008-05-05 09:08:54
Electric Cars will not necessarily be greener and pollute less if the electricity comes from some types of coal-fired plants . . . perhaps if it were a nuclear-powered plant . . . now that is green! Also the hoopla over hybrids. . . does anyone think about the amount of energy expended making these new hybrid and electric cars and the extra energy expended by the owner to earn the extra $$ to pay for this automobile? Full life-cycle analysis is necessary to fully appreciate the energy costs of owning and running a vehicle. Ms. Clyburn has the right idea: Go car-lite (many families can go without that second or third car), use public transport and minimize driving time--greener for the environment and greener for the wallet.
posted by ecochildsplay on 2008-05-05 20:44:43
Great post! As a fellow Toyota SUV driving eco mom, I hear. I live off the grid, and we our other truck runs on biodiesel, but I am not about to buy a new car until a plug-in hybrid comes out I can charge off our hydro turbine.
posted by ecochildsplay on 2008-05-05 20:46:01
Oops, meant to leave a link to my blog in my response, if you are interested in reading other eco moms' thoughts. http://ecochildsplay.com
posted by fred@organicfred.com on 2008-05-07 14:49:50
I had to laugh. Atleast you have a good sense of humor and are doing so much else to offset your families footprint. We have a Prius hybrid and a Murano. It is hard to fit all of the 'stuff' in the Prius. Keep up the good work, we love your blog ~ Team Fred www.organicfred.com
posted by greenbiker on 2008-05-15 10:29:40
You attack this gas hole thing like you justify your big car because you are green enough. When is it enough? When you are sustainable. It is a typical american arrogant response to get defensive and justify your big car. Mommy greenest, I don't think so. Try telling people in any other part of the world that you are green with your monster mobile. Most parts of the world raise families larger than yours with a bicycle. Would it take you out of our comfy little suburban lifestyle, yes.
I read your blog and thought yeah I agree and then it slowly festered inside me. It's green enough. You are not mommy greenest because going green is a constant evoultion of your lifestyle. The aspiration is to be sustainable or regenerative.
I commend you on your green habits but please do not become arrogant about your gas guzzler.
If you want tips on how to lose the automobile let me know.
posted by DanielleCBB on 2008-06-11 08:22:11
You know, I was wondering about that- I thought you had stuck it on yourself. I think it's funny that you left it on there! It's how I was able to identify your car when you parked near my house!
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